Thursday, 21 June 2012

It so it continues....

So we finally met and talked, and he is in a mess. Clinically depressed and doing nothing about it. At the moment he flails between fairly normal and completely irrational. And, yes, I feel sorry for him, but even this doesn't excuse what he's done. He can't give me a reason why he left and is acting resentfully towards my son, and for that reason alone, I cannot be around him. So I've drawn a line in the sand and he knows that. I'm trying to move on and the chatter in my head is now more related to being able to cope with everything when the baby is born. My husband is just not a factor anymore no matter what he thinks

Wednesday, 6 June 2012

Being a grown up....again!

So the last time we were supposed to meet, he cancelled because work comes before everything, and he has now left it 3 weeks to rearrange it. The difference is, I no longer have anything to say to him.

My mind set has changed. I don't want or need him around at all and have absolutely nothing to say to him. I really think it would be so much easier if he just disappeared. Every time I hear from him my stress levels go through the roof and my anger rises again, and the contractions start again, so how can talking to him be helpful?????

I told him I will listen to what he has to say but that I have nothing to say to him. As far as I am concerned, this is my baby, not his. I will be raising him. I am now a single Mum with 2 children and he is what?? A sperm donor?!! What does he think is going to happen? I'll be complicit with his suggestions for names and access? Why should I be like that? Why should I make his life easier? What does he really think he can bring to the deal? As far as I am concerned his part is over, the right to everything else left when he did...